EAGLES' EYE: READING TIME

 By

  Varsity Press Correspondent  (kusjceditorial@gmail.com)
 

It's one of those days in the life of a student where you have a Test paper at 8:00 am and you have no clue what to do and where to get notes from. My friends have what we call E.R, Emergency Reading. This involves several steps, the first two being; acquiring notes and two, finding a stimulating place to study. However, the word 'stimulating' may mean so many things as I soon discovered.

Other than the Library, one can immerse themselves into reading in the Reading Area. This place should be renamed to 'circus area' if you ask me. I promptly take my seat on the third row of the Western Wing like I always do. This may puzzle many, not that I sit at the same place every time but because not many have been to the Reading Area let alone know that it has a West Wing. , like the White House. Anyway, I'm now getting to understand what my friend's notes are all about when I see a chick who I will name Miss Boobs. She has on a black Spaghetti top that is as low as the water levels in Lake Naivasha. I swear I can almost see her aureole. Too bad for me because I can only see her passport from where I'm seated. Miss Boobs seems very much at home in the Reading Area, judging from the number of times I see her walking up and down saying Hi to every John and Mary, here and there and moving from corner to corner asking questions and laughing her heart out.

This place has interesting characters I wonder whether I'll read anything. This guy walks by with a face that looks like it has just been run over by a truck, no kidding! The nose, lips and eyes are all as flat as a pancake. I know a good plastic surgeon, shame he didn't ask me. Then another just-circumcised guy walks by. I have four brothers who've gone through that rite of passage, so I think I know how a just-circumcised semi-man walks like. One leg forward, pause, next leg forward, pause and so on and so forth. Or maybe it was his walking style, one could never tell. My assumptions are soon cut short when I see His Hotness, Marlon Wayans look-alike, pass by. I almost fell with the chair because I was leaning backwards too much just to make sure His Hotness found a seat...safely. And they say the handsome ones are not yet born, they ought to see this one!

I realize it's time for me to go on reading if I really want to excel in the next day's test paper, so I read for a very long while until my mind starts thinking of a distraction. My eyes catch a glimpse of the guys seated next to me. One guy is busy punching numbers on his Blackberry, another has very thick spectacles on I wonder if sees anything in them and then there are these two guys who've put their hands on each other’s shoulders. I have one word, GAY! Who does that these days? Now, there are some guys annoying me. This guy and two ladies have decided to discuss right next to me. Can't they see I'm reading? Somehow? I gently tap the guy and politely gesture to him that they should keep it low. Realizing that they are revising on the same paper I have the next day, I decide to listen in on their discussion and thereby earning myself several past papers from them. Soon it's over and I go back to my newly-found hobby, sightseeing. I have now observed practically everyone around me except this guy whom I can only see his brown sneakers. I bet those were white when he bought them.

My most favorite character is Scribbler. Since I got to this place, this guy has been frantically reading and scribbling on his book. What does he do? Rocket science? He hasn't even lifted his head for one minute! I then see my friends at the furthest end, chatting endlessly and having a good laugh. Nevertheless, I choose to be principled and resist the urge to go over and 'contribute' to the discussion. As I check out the hottest fashion in Campus from the people walking by, I get an all too familiar feeling that I need to pee. I love bragging to everyone that I know every loo in Campus. Wrong! I don't know where the loos of this place are and I'm not going to make a fun of myself by asking around so I head off to the Library , only to find them being washed, to my dismay. It's midnight for crying out loud! Who washes toilets at midnight? I try the ones at the Maths Department but they are also locked only the Gents are open. Weird enough, they only have urinals and I'm sure I could never figure out how to use those. Eventually I decide to go the Men's Hostels because they are nearer. All this time my bladder is just about to burst. I find the loos and on coming out, I bump into a very confused guy. Thinking that it was the Caretaker, I run for the hills...not really, I simply run back to the Reading Area. I still can't believe that those toilets were cleaner than those in my hostel. They smelt better too.

The Reading Area is almost deserted now so I decide to head in, having made up my mind to seriously read. I pass by a friend and make a little chitchat. Amidst the shrilling ring tones and noise, I actually do get to read. I leave the place at 1:30 am after gulping 2 liters of water and earning an gold star in observation. If only question 1 would be; "Name 5 things you noted as you were reading." I switch on my cell phone and see that it is now 80 cents a minute and walk to my hostel.