Sugar Daddy's Diary:STERN WARNING(#L3)

A letter to my daughter.

 By

                                      Manyuira(wilsonmanyuira@yahoo.com)

For a long time daughter, I have not given you the privilege of starting this letter formally. The way it should be started, that’s with greetings. I know y doing this I risk being accused of unethical behaviour but I don’t give it a damn.

            Its’ not my fault daughter. our would us abit “wired” leaving no room for such little and sundry. But don’t mistake this for anything fishy…your pretty mind may incubate. It’s just that we consider this ethical coupled with the necessary precaution incase of leaked cable emanating from this dossier of love. Its normal for I and fellow club members not to take chances daughter.

            You see, I have started believing what uncle Charlie claimed the other day at a club meeting . That Pillow might be of the same raise with this WIKILEAKS guy, going by the way she has been behaving lately. Nowadays,every step I make towards home meets a fierce rebellion from my ego.

            With excitement of loliondo, she ha reignited the herbalist spirit in her. it’s not uncommon to see queues of young lads and old hags taking concoction from Pillow. From  what I have gathered via my intelligence service unit, The concoction-an extraction from a weed known as wanjiru kieni- is claimed to cure the younger flesh disease. This is no good news at all knowing what Pillow is capable of.

            All of a sudden, I seem to have developed a magnetic effect that attracts all eyes. By extension, office lads have a new interest in me, something I have not failed to attribute on pillows udaku.

            I hear she has deployed “undercover agents” to keep track of everything and everywhere I go. And even know whom I associate with.I even suspect she has planted a microchip in me that tacks everywhere I go to her favour.

            In her pursuit to challenge my portability among simcards, Pillow has identified six  suspected simcards that my portability has been toying with. Sad still, she has pointed out two simcards as prime suspects among the “portability six”.

            There two cases against the prime suspects and 20 witnesses supporting the prosecution team. Rumours has it that Pillow’s legal team is in possession of assorted documents in form of sneaky and yummy snaps, romance letters and even video clips against them.

            Eeh… LANGATA?…..I am not in the mood to kill your spirit with the KU CULTURE WEEK 2011 just around the corner. But for the purpose pf early preparation and caution, I must categorically state that you’re one of the two prime suspects. The other being my legged secretary, so unfair for her considering the venom like loathing I habour against her.

            But what makes this case interesting and dreadful as far as am concerned, is the chamber members, legal officers and even her “detectives”.

            Their CHAMA leader- a woman who has escaped my liking parameter for so long, much to my pleasure is the presiding judge on this case. Her legal team consist of reputable lawyers with a feminal cloke on their neck. It just escapes my reasoning circumference to expect any victory against this sought of people.

            All said and done, this just highlights the extent to which Pillow can be dangerous. As you know my liking for you permits me to take the first opportunity and issue a STERN WARNING  before things get out of hand.

            I have come up with 5 precaution measures that I expect you’ll adhere to

1. Emotion-Loaded Letters.

I must confess before this pen and paper that your letters have always rekindled my sweet youth feelings when I read them. But for your own good, I am proposing you start taking a business like approach towards the whole letter affair. I have also opened a new mail box with the name Rafaeli Onyango at a different county where I expect you to send(thinks….dumb) your letters. Or better still, you can give up the whole letter saga and wait till we meet- which is going to be limited-for any flavoured nonsense your pretty mind may have for me.

2. Calling.

I find it necessary here, to screen(black list) your number on my private phone-which Pillow has been gaining interest on off-late.

3. Visiting

As I informed you earlier, Pillow is tracking my movements. I am quite sure you won’t like news that KU and its environs has been identified as my temporal residence when I am not in Pillow’s arms.

            I am therefore urging you not to expect me visit your room in Ngong hostels(KU) from now on. I will also not entertain any word that you’re seen anywhere near my work place.

4. Relating with Empty Pockets.

“…somewhere in the bible. its written that whosever despiseth shall also be despised. I am not in anyway accusing you but toying with the idea of shifting the blame game. that this might as well be a way of proving them wrong. that you have an Empty Pocket of your own and therefore don’t need an old man of my caliber.

            How about one from KU Christian union. I can also bet my last coin that your well humoured antics and the good dancing skills-I witnesses during inooro night the other day-can earn you a place in the creative ministries(perception)

            Personally I am giving consideration the idea of accepting Jesus as my personal saviour. BYE

* * * * *

            the club meeting is due for this weekend. And I am relishing the idea of rubbing shoulders with the might as we attempt kicking the golf ball amid little success. I will also use this platform to thank uncle Charlie for his brilliant brains. I will duly inform him that his idea of writing the above letter seems workable. Hopefully, that is if a stick to instruction-as he claimed- we might as well succeed in extraditing langata and uncle Charlie’s “daughter” to the jersey island united kingdom. this weekend make sure you paint the town and village all red. I am requesting all readers to read on my behalf Galatians 5:19. Junior said I must read it-which means was an order-but I am yet to purchase a bible.

            

Yours Romantic-Energetic-Ever loving
Sugar daddy
Kisima wa juzi

Sugar Daddy’s Dairy: The Monologue.(L2)

Manyuira(wilsonmanyuira@yahoo.com)

         Life could have been better of course but I don’t blame myself for anything. All that mattered, matters or will ever matter is opportunity. Chance has been indispensable in my whole life. Everything about me has all but been opportunity. Being born was a mistake of mama’s looseness; my bringing up was a gamble too. What about all those faces that mama demanded I call them dad?

      Opportunity defiled the three girls we grew together, opportunity made mummy a small mere sack, opportunity robed us any footing, and opportunity denied us any education. It was never going to b e easy for the three of us. And being the eldest made matters worse. I guess the social divide played a tough role in making me a “real prisoner”. Being an opportunist that nature had shaped me to; my song was never to be a chemistry of routine.

      I still remember the shopkeeper rudely tainting Philomena’s innocence, chief's son eloping with young Lillian and still morns beautiful Elena’s death. Did God really have a soft spot for our family? Did he only give us opportunities of misery and despair? Was the other camp only fulfilling a mission? A mission of tearing us apart and disintegrating our camp? Was it all the other camp could do? And did it mean crossing the other camp you kissed off despair and misery? Why was God more kind to other camp if at all he is a God of equal opportunity? Why was he ever there for them but ever willing to condemn us?

            Indeed he is a God of equal opportunity. Only the magnitude that matters…while others has been bundles of joy, us were all but torrents of tears.

      I have come to learn that opportunities knock in two sets. Over time, nature has taught me; my spoon would always be upside down. Its mother, who hypnotized me with scramble. The hard way of earning has been my motto. The leaning of understanding parallel to my softness, a joyful moment sandwiched with luck. Nature has bred a self centered me.

           Accolades and foes has christened me names, routine has riveted my heart and iron, I have learned to embrace every positive opportunity…if at all t compensate what has consumed me over years.

Pillow-in my assumption- was a bad luck to my life. I’ve learned to tolerate her and her fools, but junior?

            Junior, our only son, had entered to the world at the right time. I had missed him for long before our first fool was born. For I needed another "prisoner" to walk with .

            After her sixth “prison”, my fear was being split apart among the seven prisons. Junior was a transitional element and the animal in me was never to be in junior.

            Another thing am sure of, Pillow is also fond of junior. Junior doesn’t seem to comprehend this but creates, if only a mere link between us.

          I’ve never for once regretted ruining Jane’s life, neither have I mourned Julie’s abortion and subsequent impotence. Nor Ruth’s dropping out of school

          Infact I counted myself extravagantly fair. No one died in my arms like my sister Elena; I raped no one like the shopkeeper did. Infact I paid handsomely and beautiful for everything. Didn’t Jane build a house for her family, didn’t Ruth pay dowry for her poor boyfriend? Didn’t Julie start a now flourishing business?

        Thinking of langa’ta, the varsity girl, I don’t see us together for so long. Even I doubt whether we will come back in the same plane once the Seychelles retreat is over.

         However I must admit she has been the hardest ever. For once I thought she was never to crack. I couldn’t remember spending the much I spend on her to any other woman let alone Pillow. But I don’t regret it. I have only grabbed an opportunity that willingly presented itself. A chance to enjoy the "Varsity girls". After all I never got any education. Neither did the only three women dear to me.

        Whatever names they call me I don’t care. I am even entertaining being salt daddy, the Broom or any other they would deem suitable for me. All that matters now is an opportunity to squeeze the hibiscus flower. Opportunity to crash my canines, soothing between them

 Yours Romantic-Energetic-Ever loving
Sugar daddy
Kisima wa juzi

Sugar Daddy’s Dairy: Letter to my “Daughter”.(L1)

Sugar Daddy’s Dairy Letter to my Daughter.

By  

Manyuira(wilsonmanyuira@yahoo.com)

            I know that by the time this letter reaches you, someone would have already committed a "fallacy" on you. Though  am partly to blame, I can’t help cursing that foolish, ugly, hunger ravened boy masquerading as man on top of my only "daughter". Did I here that you have been seen with him again?...
      I am sure you will not accuse me of not expressing my sagging love to you in this love thesis. I have taken the necessary precautions for the sake of our safety and for the “rose” flower we are building. Using the name daughter was not a mistake but rather a safety measure considering the way “pillow” has been insisting on emptying my contents something that has always been done by junior. Being a scholar there in KU I believe it won’t be hard for you to “see” darling,sweetie,babie,dear….. on the Jargon daughter.

            I must apologize that my greetings a rather arriving late daughter. With all the harassment from your exams-that you told me on the other day- I have no choice but to admit it is unkind for me , considering the “empty pockets” have not been letting you embarrass them by hugging them in front of their girlfriends, though to my joy.

            Your letter aroused a lot of emotions that I almost cried with love daughter. As “pillow” snored, I couldn’t help but re-read the letter again and again. For the first time I felt proud of you daughter. Your magazine cuttings reminded me of last holiday in naivasha and your perfume smelled Singapore.

Did you receive the parcel ? of course I know you liked the imported wig, the perfume and all the other assorted gifts dear. My friend was surprised that I imported them from Italy.

            Of late the office has been boring with those skinny secretaries who vomits only Africanized English. The “womanish” feel that oozed when you were around is now a foretold dream. The congress speaker send me an email saying that he misses you. The gateman asked me of you’re whereabouts and I overheard the Tea girls-generously but with jealous- praising your beauty. Uncle Charlie was telling me of the hugs you used to give him while you were an intern at their place The bank manager from Lagos angered me when he said I was incomplete without you and that he had admired you for long. Anyway to make the long story short the people surrounding me are daily asking about you and I am surely missing you.

            I hear Iron Lady has initiated  a project of beautifying the Main Campus and that men have formed a group to fight for the rights of university male students. Is it true that even daughter’s of that land have initiated a project against men moral uprightness? These are bad news to me but when I join the senate everything will change. I can’t wait to see KU being a girls only university and prevent  “empty pockets” from touching even the slit of your dress.

            Meanwhile I am preparing for our vacation soon after you close for the long holiday. Prepare for the most modern romantic approach on you daughter and be sure I will not disappoint you.

            I have deposited Ksh. 8000 in your account for use during examination and preparation for our trip. If possible send me your details for processing of the visa. I am doing my best to secure a presidential suite in one of the best motels in Seychelles.

     

            I can’t wait to stroke your hair and fiddle you as you caress my rich tummy and my white beards.

            I wish you well in your exam reminding you not to compromise by accepting advances from that “empty pocket” named lecturer. If anything don’t worry of your marks as your future is already determined whether you pass or not.

            Prepare physiologically, philosophically, physcologically and physically. The Clip I sent you I believe will be of great help to you towards our holiday in Seychelles.

Yours Romantic-Energetic-Ever loving

 Sugar daddy

Kisima wa juzi