Survival Tips for Freshmen in KU.(PART 1)

 bY 

Lifestyle correspondent(lifestyle@kampusmonie.com)

I believe by now you're begin to feel how it is to be in campus. Is it an Awful or cool experience for you? Are you enjoying every moment? Have made new friends? Or perhaps you’re disturbed over your ochaz girlie fie? Well, Just “weka shida chini”, freshen your mind and prepare to go through this, so humourously written but very important and serious article. It might just be everything you need to reach the race touch line and put behind your back the four-six years ahead of you.

        It’s just so simple, but carries an unfair demand for sober mind, hard-but-humane heart and a fighting spirit that continues to urge you to fight on, even with strays of bullets on your chest. Yah, it can get that tough as years go by but you have no reason to whine before the journey starts, before the ball rolls off.

        Its no time to regret dear friend. I believe some of you have gone through a hell they never expected on their first day in campus. Were you told there is a course known as sexiology offered here? Maybe you lost your virginity..(Understatement...Dignity) to that 2^nd year dude/chick from your estate/ochaz?. Get it from me then there is no such a degree in the university catalogue. Likewise there no lectures that take place in student/lecturers or hotel rooms. We have a rule here known as 10 to 10 that is supposed to protect you. Am just guessing that the next thing you plan to do is to report the matter to the authority. If it’s the case, be advised then that this will gain you nothing. The most logical thing is you learn the hard way and move on with life. You’re even lucky you didn’t have HELB loan for God knows what would have happened.

        I can bet my last coin there guys among you who are finding it hard to spend the whole day here, no lectures and you’re yet to make friends. The few who has the means, mostly are finding solace in numerous trips to town. BUT HOLD ON for a moment and read this! There is somewhere inside KU where many senior students are waiting to share their time with you. To chat, play and even do other sort of things that you will definitely enjoy.

        Today, find time and walk your way to SZ39 at around 7.00 pm. You will find them there under the umbrella of Kenyatta university Christian union(KUCU). They’ll be ready to answer anything that you will need to know.

        Let me remind you early enough that lectures are the most important thing as far as KU is concerned. Truancy is the worst form of indiscipline and will only prompt you to cheat in exams. Cheating in exams attracts expulsion from campus and you will not be given a chance to explain yourself...........

Pop in for part two tomorrow

Afrosinema star TONTO DIKEH do not wear pants!

Well, tonto dikeh the currently rocking-often with bag girl habits- nolly wood star has confessed she doesn't wear pants! according to naijapals.com the hot blonde prefers tight to loose clads as she claims to be to sensitive-in born perhaps- to anything so close to her private organs. Or maybe this is just one of her many pranks. aMong the many bad habits that ranges from smoking, drinking and fighting her male companions on movie set).e.t.c

MY LONGER LASTING BATTERY: A LETTER TO MY MAMA

I Will Forever Appreciate You Mother, Read to know why   By      wilsonmanyuira(wilsonmanyuira@yahoo.com) hi,       Do not be indignant with me. If you get this long overdue letter, please make sure I know. Its not my fault, but rather because you never left any address behind. I had to consider how this letter will reach you and after extensive debating, I settled for a newspaper. Though you never read papers while living here, I argued the name may ring some meaning to stewards there. Maybe Daily nation is sold there too.         I can’t really tell the impression you left with, about me. Was it that of an ungrateful fellow or someone who takes too long to mature? Perhaps you thought I was scornful of everything and didn’t bother to appreciate you’re efforts. No, not at all! Its not that I didn’t appreciate but rather I didn’t know the art of doing so. After reading the whole letter I believe you’ll have the heart to forgive me for my indifference.       Mama, I know that I am not a scarecrow but rather a human being. I understand that were it not for you, my-self-will probably be a scarecrow in someone’s garden. The are NO words that can show gratitude for those nine months. I can imagine the pain you carried along during that period that will forever stick in your mind, I need not to be told the things you gave up for me. The dreams you forego and the sacrifices you made. Perhaps you had a career path that you wanted to advance; maybe you adored the all-girls coffee party- where you jabbed all night about your boyfriends and so on.Even more painful you were left with both an emotional and physical scar. What about the terror of wails I unleashed in the middle of the night-the only time my “selfish” me had left for you and papa. For sure, the emotional scar compelled you to abandon whatever the comfort and come to my sacrifice.        Throughout my post-tender age, you were the Mike Tyson of my weaknesses, my Usain Bolt in my tortoise speed, My Oprah Winfrey in life's realities, my Billy Gates when I was broke and my crying shoulder when life pushed me to the wall. They say that destiny and fate are never shaped but I can scream to them you artistically designed mine. I know mama, I have not achieved much but the little I have, is largely due to you.                  You see mama, when you left I was still young and fundamentally prejudiced by peer pressure. I thought it was cool to lie that you’re the P.A (personal assistant) of our Area MP, that you had the same car  the prime minister had imported and many other things that today I feel ashamed to retrace them. That’s why I didn’t tell you of visiting days and even didn’t want you to visit me at college. I foolishly feared I, will be discovered. How can I forget the values and principles you instilled in me mama. I thought going to Sunday school was imprudent. I reasoned it was Lady-like and cowardice when you instructed me not to spend my whole day in ghetto. I even didn’t feel like helping my siblings in home chores. My peers said that the last born was the pearl of the family and thus reviled my elder brother and sister. I vividly remember how she cooked breakfast, washed utensils and did everything while I was outside playing with peers. Mama, at one point I even thought you hated me when you started giving each an every one of us duties while you went out for work. I felt angry that, while my friends jumped up and down from one estate to another, I was busy fetching water. But now I understand why you did all those things. When I remember them I am overwhelmed by an emotional upsurge of love for you. It’s sad that during those moments, I was nowhere in your reach. Whenever I enter my kitchen to cook or warm my meal an instant contentment knocks me because of you. I still exploit the same method you taught me to prepare almost every meal. At the beginning of each semester, I plan for the little crumb of loan that the government lends me. I use almost ¾ of it to pay school fees and the rest for the upkeep. And you know what mum?! I always lead a comfortable life. Yes, I occasionally skip my lunches but that’s nothing. In every semester, I do many things that other student also do and still purchase my pet novel for my library. Mama, there many important and unforgettable things you did for me, but the most vital, is teaching me to share. I hope you’ll remember those days that we rushed to your food stall for lunch. Do you recall you gave me only ¼  of the usual meal and the rest you gave to those school kids who had no money? Then, I rubbished that as scrap but now I know. It’s in that spirit that I diligently save to donate for the hunger stricken people. Were it not for what you did, I would not have skipped some of my necessities to purchase the KENYANS FOR KENYANS T-SHIRT.              Mama, in our community, a saying goes, -iganagwo yari iria yakua( it is praised it had a lot of milk when it has died), I knew my neighbours and friends will scold me for this, and that’s why I decided not to tell them why you were the pearl of my life. Why my life now faced some uncertainty that you are gone. I just kept quiet till the day I thought of writing this letter to you . Needless to say, you used to be the most important woman in my life. Its now easy for me to say you’re the best mother one can ever have. The electrons (brains) you charged me with will forever propel me to the right direction. Those ions (abilities) will keep me moving on. The current (blood) will keep me alive to achieve the dreams I have for you’re grand children. MAYBE IN FUTURE, I WILL ERECT A STATUE-on the land I’ll purchase for our family-TO YOUR HONOUR. That’s why I will sing a song, YOU’RE MY LONGER LASTING BATTERY. YOUR’S TRULY Muuruguo(son in kikuyu)

MY BRAIN REFORM AGENDA

By
      wilsonmanyuira(wilsonmanyuira@yahoo.com)


In the last few years/months we have been treated to a whole lot of reformist views. Civil service has been lobbying us to embrace reform agendas. Political elites too seized the moment to name, shame and tame branded anti-reformist and even families are reforming the old ritualistic order of wife and husband responsibilities.


Nowadays, listening, watching or reading newspaper headlines, invites a sign of relief and welcomes a hearty smile on our faces. So and so criminal get born again, prime minister pays tax, president assents a crucial bill, Martha Karua launches her presidential bid, so and so graduates, KACC offers 60-day amnesty to corrupt officials, new army chief appointed and many more headlines that are promising a better future.


Closer home – I mean in my neighborhood, villagers are getting more gallant in rolling the ball forward despite the challenges. Men of all ages too have pulled up their socks in all aspects thanks to Mututho laws. Women on their side the grimace on their long frowned face has already vanished and replaced by bright, booming-almost girlish- face that can take a stranger no time to know things are positive.


On a personal level, I have managed to avoid a reprise of my past life and opened a new chapter that’s far more promising. Out of sheer resilience and abit of luck, I can look to the future, celebrate joining this and that, being proud of kicking juvenile character and sit down smiling in peace of success achieved, challenges overcame and temptations avoided.


Most of us we can also look backward and thank God for saving our souls for transforming us from filthy dipsomaniacs to pulpit fellows, giving us a face to defend our proposals before the feminine race and knocking out inferiority complex out of our system.


But despite the all pleasant news, the many promising aspects, we are yet to dump a number of things that still lurks in our minds. Bad memories.


Some how, our inner comrades- conscience- has been accusing us of pedantry. Amid my surreptitious effort to transform my mind to a forgetting machine a carnal being inside my cranium, derives pleasure in mocking our ability to forget unpleasant experiences. Another fellow upstairs, always and effortlessly tampers with our thinking stream that we forget the important and remember the painful.

Come to think of it. Politicians like Barrack Obama will be forgotten for killing Osama Bin Laden but remembered for sky rocketing US National debt, Architectural master piece on Thika Road will soon be a thing of past but Anglo-Leasing scandal, post-election Mayhem and faulty constitutional nominations will forever dent President Kibaki’s legacy.


Likewise it’s highly likely that the world will-sooner than later-dismiss sassy song bird Amy winehouse’s triumphs with her back to black hit, but her drug doping and substance abuse will be a comrade in our memory. Many remember the oppression of colonial governments but few-almost none- remember the civilization it came with, namely; Education, new seeds, new democratic form of governance(capitalism…etc.), Industrialization and much needed freedom of expression far from the old monarch rules.


Individually we continually fight negative thoughts in our minds. We struggle to forget how we lost our virginity, how we started smoking, how-like many other boys and girls-masturbated in high school, how we had sex during our first day in campus, how we got addicted to pornography and many more evil thoughts that haunt us like curse.


In spite of confessing and getting baptized; of forging a new clean path of life different from past, there is still a freaky guilt that dares to frazzle our new morals lest we turn back our eyes to old life. Though we smile our ways into marriages, a constant and persistent fellow jeers us for ruining that school girl’s future, for embezzling the ambitious young man’s bank account and even for aborting the future Miss World.


The question that begs then is what goes a miss in connection to our thinking? What cuts the link between our change of character and mentality? How and why do we forget our past as choir members and remember the first day we fornicated? And what can be done to remedy the problem? All this queries will remain unanswered until someone invents a gadget that can erase painful memories and replace them with pleasant ones.


In the meantime I am proposing that the president appoint a brain enquiry commission that will investigate the root of this problem, make findings on this problem and recommend possible remedial procedures; if at all reconciliation will be a reality within Kenya’s ethnic diversity.

COULD SINGLE MOTHERS BE TIGHTENING NOOSE ON THEIR BOYS NECKS?

When media mogul Rupert Murdoch was hiring criminals (according to Gordon Brown –Former British PM) and playing phone hacking games, he didn’t know he was hammering the last nail on his newspaper’s coffin. This he did in order to get catchy and mind boggling headlines for his paper.

It got me wondering, whether single mothers could be modeling into Mr. Murdoch’s outfit. And may be it’s only a time bomb that cuts link between success and demise similar to that of Mr. Murdoch’s 168yrs – Old fallen tabloid.

Past three decades ago, our society had some sanity and families were sober too. We used to breed beautiful girls with chocolate complexion, Natural breast, wasp-like waist, well and naturally arched feminal curves, Natural hair, innocent looking amber eyes and an always pleasant smile that shone on their faces. Likewise, we were not, short of Athletic, well-built man-like men that graced village parties these girls in attendance too.

Those days happiness was not foreign and neither was peace. Every boy and girl was answerable to his/her respective family heads. Every boy could persevere for as long as it could take the girl’s father shed his organ’s waist on his head, while hiding in a nearby bush. And weddings were a source of joy and a lasting hope that super ceded the fairly exorbitant dowries.

But as days tickled, months eroded and years passed, societal morals slowly died. In present age a considerable percent of mothers are single. An even bigger number of men are not married and those in it, their in a sorry state what could have gone wrong?

There’s a story that attracts more pity than sympathy. Mother’s created a beast impression of man to their daughters. Many faces that changed with time & came with bounded notes for mama, turned little girls’ material envious.

Soon, they’re turn to marry arrived but they proved smarter. First they picked the right gene from the preferred sperm donor with another three-man bench chamber revolving around her life. She later did little to knock out the donor reasoning that freedom and a husband could never sail in the same boat.

I remember young boys of our time comparing anything mighty and strong to their fathers. But these boys had none and instead they turned to their mothers. For the rich ones, they believed their mama was all and has since grown to oversize puppets that lacks a man’s steel ness and could only be useful to nestle scientist to determine the effect of their laboratory-made products. The other class in poverty was even worse.

What with the mother struggling to make ends and more often than not with swinging moods. These boys grew with no boldness and confidence characteristic of, and so vital in man. Perhaps synonymous to the now common half baked graduates.

Mothers locked up their boys while leaving for work, turning them social wrecks. Their freedom of expression/association was curtailed to curb bad influence and their only solace was Television. Perhaps explaining their misguided and ideal view of life as presented on this TV’s. Only to be shell-shocked just like proverbial Westerners on arrival to Cairo and met Architectural master piece far from comparison with the Architectural deception in their home countries.

Another time came when they were laughed off by their peers. And in an effort to toughen up themselves they resorted to hard drugs. Some went for pornographic materials in a bid to know the art of being ruthless. Others realized their music talents and even went ahead to organize music concerts all around. They dubbed them yummy titles such as one night stand, swaggerific concert e.t.c.

It’s here, on the stage-under influence of drugs-, they stripped naked- their already half naked sisters-who too have sons at home-,doing unprintable acts on their medicated backs and vomiting meaningless, nauseating chatter from their mouth. All this done in front of flashing cameras and bright lights with no cause to wink their eyelids.

At last we have ended in a desperate situation. Even the sperm donor threatened to extinction. But all is not lost.

Take it from me mothers, you did a great job in supporting us to realize our dreams, but a stable father is indispensable in getting the man you desires out of your son. Take it from me fathers your sons desperately needs you to make them men that yours fathers made you.

God too doesn’t desire divorces for the good of all in the family father, mother and children. The law may not be against this and may even give you consent but the grace of God will surely Judge you.

And for you home breakers, I think its time you marry yourselves off to cows, goats, camels or even donkeys in arid regions or else hell’s venom will wait with much eagerness.

             

                                      *     *        *         *

Many years ago before mama passed on, I overhead her telling another woman SHE HATES men so much and made me afraid. I wondered whether he hated me since I was growing to a man but I have come to learn there’s nothing as sweet as a single mothers Jealously Guarded love to her son(s).

The other day my 4 years old cousinwho calls every man daddy-, knocked me off with laughter after watching something on Telly. Ms Nancy Barasa (DCJ) was wearing a dress similar to one her mum bought two weeks ago. The C.J. Dr. Mutunga was sitting next to her and the little boy came to the erroneous conclusion he was his daddy. He started wailing since he was not responding to his demand that he buy for him “Gari ya borithi (Police car). God be with you.

Former minister duped… Yet again!

By

                                      Manyuira(wilsonmanyuira@yahoo.com)

Former minister duped… Yet again!

It seems former minister and President Kibaki’s strongest ally in central province is in for a ride yet again. For close to a month or two now the immediate former Kieni legislator has been going round the vast Nyeri County seeking for approval of his candidature as the first Nyeri governor-a seat that has been likened to “presidency” on county level

On this particular day (11/7/2011), Dr Chris Murungaru was attending a women’s only-chama sort-meeting at Wood Park Inn hotel, Giakanja- a small town that informally serves as a by link between Municipality and Tetu constituencies. Mr. Murungaru then gave handouts of unknown sums only for men to hold him ransom at the last minute.

It was a case of Men’s rights being  violated and amid murmurs, Mr. Murungaru was asked to also provide handouts for men lest they incite fellow  ‘comrades’ and bar their women from voting him in.

Well, a certain man only identified as Marto (pseudonym for Martin) proved smarter than the rest of the men with his good orator skills and the well guided leadership camouflage. He managed to impress Dr Murungaru’s eyes as his potential right hand in the highly rated region. 

Marto who is rumoured to be from Mtaani (a popular kick-in for Nyeri’s Majengo), even claimed to be interested in the local councilor’s seat and when time for handouts came, Dr Murungaru didn’t wink his eye lids giving him an unknown amount of money to distribute to other men.

Marto, so convincingly reasoned with the men whether to hold a “cocktail” or instead share the monies amongst themselves. The men- eager for their share-opted for the latter and Marto went out to look for loose cash (money in smaller denominations) in order to distribute effectively. He is yet to return and the men has since left cursing Dr. Murungaru and vowing not to vote for him come 2012 general election.

Many would recall how he left the internal security docket pending investigations on the land cruisers procurement saga



Divine Healing: Healing Beyond Treatment.

 By

                                      Manyuira(wilsonmanyuira@yahoo.com)

            Despite varied religious views that the word populace testifies, one thing is certain, there is a constant factor that seems to pull strings together. Just like a general election in any republic, different religions have one thing in common, Faith.

            In Christianity, faith can be termed as hope for the unknown, unseen or that which is the spiritual realm. It’s through faith-aided by the Holy Spirit-that God communicate to brethrens. Its what enables fellowship between God and believers?

            A question then underlies as to the role of faith in other aspects of life. Take health as an example. A patient laying on the hospital bed or at home hoping for the best, a medical practitioner taking chances having faith that all is going to be well, a woman, and in spite of labour pains, expecting a bouncing baby boy or girl. They all believe that external forces independent from treatment being administered will heal, or make things possible for them.

            Among the conservatives and liberals in the medical world, there exist a gentleman’s agreement. That though treatment is within medical circumference, Healing is way beyond. Who them? Or what does heal?

            According to psalms 103:3 & Deuteronomy 32:39, there exist a God with ability to kill& make alive, to forgive sins, to wound and also to heal all your diseases. 1 peter 2:24 & Isaiah 53:5 illustrates how believers were/are healed  “..By the stripes..” on Jesus body

            This clearly illustrates that every sickness and diseases are an oppression/potion of the devil and how God is keen on “..Uprooting every plant that he has not planted” Mat 15:13.

            Some might argue that the word ‘healing’ in the bible is used in general sense but there are some cases too where it is used specifically. In general, it may touch issues on discomfort, prosperity, peace, sins, backsliding, despair e.t.c as it in the case of psalms 41:4, 147:3, Hosea 14:4, Jeremiah 3:22 e.t.c

            Specific cases include, God is able “to heal or your diseases” Psalms 103:3, and he promises to restore your health and heal all thy wounds Jeremiah 30:13.   Mathew 4:24(KJV) And his fame went throughout all Syria: and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatick, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them.

            This attests of Jesus ability to heal with “treatment” conspicuously missing in these scriptures.        

           

            Nevertheless God has put in place conditions that are to met for one to get the potion of divine healing. There is Faith (James 2:1) that results from confessing your sins (Romans 10:9) and thus living by the spirit not by the flesh or in the ways of the world (Romans 8). Then the grace of the lord shines before us and he reigns in our lives (Romans 6:14). Paul advises “..Bodily exercises may profit a little but Godliness has a promise of good life now and thereafter.” 1 Timothy 4:8

            There is a clear indication in the word that Christians by hearing through their ears, seeing through their eyes and understanding via their hearts may pray(psalms 6:2) for healing (john 12:40, Isaiah 6:10). And thus god will deliver healing if at all they heed and pay attention to his word (proverbs 4:20-22,3:7-8,16:24,15:4,col 1:27, Jeremiah 17:14,Iichronicles 7:14,30:20, psalms 43:5..e.t.c.).

In Exodus 15:26, god promises to keep us away from any kind of diseases if at all we diligently and keep his commandments.

                                               

                                                          * * * * *

Last Sunday, our pastor-who happens to be a doctor too-, amazed the whole congregation with his confessions. He said that he little expected his medication to heal his patients than his faith in God.

HEARTFELT GRATITUDE TO LIZ WAIRIMU, TIMOTHY KIGANJO, WINNERAS CHAPEL-INT NYERI AND RUTH KAMUYA WHO ASSISTED IN COMPILING THIS SCRIPTURES.

Why Kenyans May Never Approve Dr Keriako Tobiko Candidature

 By

                                      Manyuira(wilsonmanyuira@yahoo.com)

I couldn’t understand the motive of neither the council of elders chairman, nor our heritage minister Mr. William Ole Ntimama. But one thing for sure it reignited sour feelings and I had fought so hard to hold them.
Come to think of Keriako tobiko, his good academic credentials, eloquent queens English and lack of Maasai accent in his speech. Then think of Sammy kirui and his reasons for accusing Tobiko.what about Yash Gai-perhaps bitter for his failure in constitution review duties. I could bet my last coin that none of this tow men and their claims could have denied Mr. Tobiko his DPP post. I didn’t expect Kenyans or even august house members to give consideration scandalous Mr.Kirui or Even Bitter Mr. Yash Gai. But Maasai council of elders chairman as well as Mr William Ole Ntimama might have ruined the slightest chances of Kenyans ever approving Mr.Keriako Tobiko As their DPP.
August house-based on numbers- might have succeeded in approving him but I doubt he will get full support of Kenyans as the Chief Justice Dr.Willy Mutunga and his deputy Ms Nancy Baraza enjoys. Though ODM bigwigs have always been “vigeugeu” their sudden change of heart did little to earn him loyalty from right thinking Kenyans. I assume it was just a question of playing politicians tricks ahead of a general election in 2012
On the other hand, there was more to read on the two leaders statements that what could meet the eyes. While the chairman was thumping chest playing tribal resentment, Mr Ntimama was cunning enough to camouflage a tribal blackmail and assume the tribe’s Godfather.
What exactly could have motivated them to play these games? Was it a question of norm-something they’ve got used to do? Or was it to only blackmail ODM legislatures in favour of? Mr. Tobiko?

Cool?modelling madness

"..in the eyes of the beholder".

LastMan Standing

Sugar Daddy's Diary:STERN WARNING(#L3)

A letter to my daughter.

 By

                                      Manyuira(wilsonmanyuira@yahoo.com)

For a long time daughter, I have not given you the privilege of starting this letter formally. The way it should be started, that’s with greetings. I know y doing this I risk being accused of unethical behaviour but I don’t give it a damn.

            Its’ not my fault daughter. our would us abit “wired” leaving no room for such little and sundry. But don’t mistake this for anything fishy…your pretty mind may incubate. It’s just that we consider this ethical coupled with the necessary precaution incase of leaked cable emanating from this dossier of love. Its normal for I and fellow club members not to take chances daughter.

            You see, I have started believing what uncle Charlie claimed the other day at a club meeting . That Pillow might be of the same raise with this WIKILEAKS guy, going by the way she has been behaving lately. Nowadays,every step I make towards home meets a fierce rebellion from my ego.

            With excitement of loliondo, she ha reignited the herbalist spirit in her. it’s not uncommon to see queues of young lads and old hags taking concoction from Pillow. From  what I have gathered via my intelligence service unit, The concoction-an extraction from a weed known as wanjiru kieni- is claimed to cure the younger flesh disease. This is no good news at all knowing what Pillow is capable of.

            All of a sudden, I seem to have developed a magnetic effect that attracts all eyes. By extension, office lads have a new interest in me, something I have not failed to attribute on pillows udaku.

            I hear she has deployed “undercover agents” to keep track of everything and everywhere I go. And even know whom I associate with.I even suspect she has planted a microchip in me that tacks everywhere I go to her favour.

            In her pursuit to challenge my portability among simcards, Pillow has identified six  suspected simcards that my portability has been toying with. Sad still, she has pointed out two simcards as prime suspects among the “portability six”.

            There two cases against the prime suspects and 20 witnesses supporting the prosecution team. Rumours has it that Pillow’s legal team is in possession of assorted documents in form of sneaky and yummy snaps, romance letters and even video clips against them.

            Eeh… LANGATA?…..I am not in the mood to kill your spirit with the KU CULTURE WEEK 2011 just around the corner. But for the purpose pf early preparation and caution, I must categorically state that you’re one of the two prime suspects. The other being my legged secretary, so unfair for her considering the venom like loathing I habour against her.

            But what makes this case interesting and dreadful as far as am concerned, is the chamber members, legal officers and even her “detectives”.

            Their CHAMA leader- a woman who has escaped my liking parameter for so long, much to my pleasure is the presiding judge on this case. Her legal team consist of reputable lawyers with a feminal cloke on their neck. It just escapes my reasoning circumference to expect any victory against this sought of people.

            All said and done, this just highlights the extent to which Pillow can be dangerous. As you know my liking for you permits me to take the first opportunity and issue a STERN WARNING  before things get out of hand.

            I have come up with 5 precaution measures that I expect you’ll adhere to

1. Emotion-Loaded Letters.

I must confess before this pen and paper that your letters have always rekindled my sweet youth feelings when I read them. But for your own good, I am proposing you start taking a business like approach towards the whole letter affair. I have also opened a new mail box with the name Rafaeli Onyango at a different county where I expect you to send(thinks….dumb) your letters. Or better still, you can give up the whole letter saga and wait till we meet- which is going to be limited-for any flavoured nonsense your pretty mind may have for me.

2. Calling.

I find it necessary here, to screen(black list) your number on my private phone-which Pillow has been gaining interest on off-late.

3. Visiting

As I informed you earlier, Pillow is tracking my movements. I am quite sure you won’t like news that KU and its environs has been identified as my temporal residence when I am not in Pillow’s arms.

            I am therefore urging you not to expect me visit your room in Ngong hostels(KU) from now on. I will also not entertain any word that you’re seen anywhere near my work place.

4. Relating with Empty Pockets.

“…somewhere in the bible. its written that whosever despiseth shall also be despised. I am not in anyway accusing you but toying with the idea of shifting the blame game. that this might as well be a way of proving them wrong. that you have an Empty Pocket of your own and therefore don’t need an old man of my caliber.

            How about one from KU Christian union. I can also bet my last coin that your well humoured antics and the good dancing skills-I witnesses during inooro night the other day-can earn you a place in the creative ministries(perception)

            Personally I am giving consideration the idea of accepting Jesus as my personal saviour. BYE

* * * * *

            the club meeting is due for this weekend. And I am relishing the idea of rubbing shoulders with the might as we attempt kicking the golf ball amid little success. I will also use this platform to thank uncle Charlie for his brilliant brains. I will duly inform him that his idea of writing the above letter seems workable. Hopefully, that is if a stick to instruction-as he claimed- we might as well succeed in extraditing langata and uncle Charlie’s “daughter” to the jersey island united kingdom. this weekend make sure you paint the town and village all red. I am requesting all readers to read on my behalf Galatians 5:19. Junior said I must read it-which means was an order-but I am yet to purchase a bible.

            

Yours Romantic-Energetic-Ever loving
Sugar daddy
Kisima wa juzi

AT A GLANCE! SITUATION WANTING AT NYERI PROVINCIAL LIBRARY

By

Wilson Manyuira(formalmedia@gmail.com)

At the end of the trip. I had full knowledge, why the library had been transformed to a reading area. I had learned manyreaders (more than a half) didn’t bother to check on the shelves. This is nyeri provincial library(KNLS branch).

A glance from outside reveals a spacious green painted structure with a vast-also green compound. I can bet my last coin that the designer was a good one not to mention the serene quiet environment that meets you once you enter this premises.

At the entrance is an exaggerated big desk that serves as the information desk, readers advisor’s desk and payment desk for non members like me. behind it sits a tired looking man who seems overworked doing what I assumed to be arranging cards in a tray. He first ignores me, but quickly apologizes and gives me the receipt after paying the mandatory Kshs 20.

Just next to the second entrance door is the librarians office at a corner almost impossible for new clients to notice it, then a cyber café-no longer in use, followed by Vacant rooms with no door labels. In the book section, a classified catalogue stares at you at the entrance and an author/title catalogue(separated against the norm) opposite to it.

It’s a rude shock that knocks you once you pull out the tray oblivious of the fact that this is national library. The card in use is far from the stipulated 3x5cm. a big embarrassment awaits you on the way entries are made in this cards. The numerous cataloguing filling and arrangement guidelines n existence seem to have been ignored. The general feeling is the call number should be on the to left corner of the card but at this library, consistency is a foreign word with some at the top, right hand side middle, bottom or even non at all. Some entries are handwritten, other are typesets while others are printed.

Indentions do not seem to have any serious impact here and where used, consistency lacks. perhaps because of being used frequently-which I doubt-, the classified catalogue is in pathetic condition, save for the author/title catalogue-on the positive side- which looks better.

However I noticed some trays without the centre steel rod and others with no labels at all.

Walking around the library, you can easily smell the mess even before touching the shelves.

The printed guides are the alright on the shelves and bays, but I could only term them as misleading. There however no other guides e.g. plan of a classified library. catalogue(for guiding),class guides, individual book guides, personal guidance e.t.c. the ones available are already worn out e.g. for agriculture. On some shelves there are no labels at all.

Another thing I noticed is the wrong choice of classes and class headings for labels. For instance, sub class 005-cybernetics and related disciplines on Dewey Decimal Classification(DDC) is labeled as computer, sub class 070-journalism,publishing and newspaper is included while major classes like 900-General Geography and history and their auxiliaries, have no labels.

Against the norm of other libraries, Nyeri provincial library doesn’t label its shelves according to main classes e.g. 000,200,300…600…e.t.c. but rather chooses some sub classes e.g. 330-economics perhaps which they deem to be more important. I couldn’t help wonder whether those in charge of the library were conversant with information ethics or they just choosed to deliberately ignore them.

While they have embraced they have embraced the accepted departures from the conventional schemes by using the F method for fiction books e.g. F/NGU for Ngugi wa Thiongo, this has brought even more confusion for failing to collocate related topics e.g. 400-language, 800-literature and the fiction books classified on the F/SURname method.

To add more salt on injury, the library has intentionally created a double sequence against the rule of cataloguing as its evident on the fiction books devil on the cross by Ngugi wa Thiongo(F/NGU) and shadows of the moon by Ali Mazrui(828.99249 ALA) . it negates the purpose of classification(guiding users) or using DDC if the “LOOong” call number(828.99249 ALA) given above is anything to go by.

The library doesn’t seem to have put in place any conservation and preservation measures, inside the library is hot(to a small extent) and non-book materials/multimedia resources are alien here.

But the biggest crime of all is classifying a book in the wrong place. A book titled information security: a source book for librarians- C.R. Ramamurthy is given call number 005.8RAM which fall and class cybernetics and related topics. To the shock of many the book is purely on library and information sciences class number 020 on DDC.

Though there is a reference section it’s a whole mess altogether. There is no systematic arrangement to guide readers and the classification system in use(unknown) seems different from DDC that is used in other sections.

Inside the book section and the whole library in general, there is no other library staff but the librarian could be see lazily walking around. Give credit where its due. The library has a seemingly well organized sections for oversize books and a children section.

All said and done, I did a sample on readers-by observation-regarding the usage of library as opposed to their own books. Roughly 7/10 of users only used the books they hard come in with and most of other users came in to read periodicals, mostly newspapers. this highlights what has transformed to a mere book store and a reading area from the much needed library.

My sympathy goes to all Kenyans who voted for the new constitution-I inclusive. Apparently the new constitution requires that every county has an information center for its own “citizens.” With the shame and mess in this Library isn’t it exciting to know the country awaits 47 other similar “shames and messes”? or is it time for institutions offering information and librarianship course think twice about their curricular?

The author studies library and information sciences and a journalist with KUSJC(Kenyatta University Student Journalism club).

Sugar Daddy’s Dairy: The Monologue.(L2)

Manyuira(wilsonmanyuira@yahoo.com)

         Life could have been better of course but I don’t blame myself for anything. All that mattered, matters or will ever matter is opportunity. Chance has been indispensable in my whole life. Everything about me has all but been opportunity. Being born was a mistake of mama’s looseness; my bringing up was a gamble too. What about all those faces that mama demanded I call them dad?

      Opportunity defiled the three girls we grew together, opportunity made mummy a small mere sack, opportunity robed us any footing, and opportunity denied us any education. It was never going to b e easy for the three of us. And being the eldest made matters worse. I guess the social divide played a tough role in making me a “real prisoner”. Being an opportunist that nature had shaped me to; my song was never to be a chemistry of routine.

      I still remember the shopkeeper rudely tainting Philomena’s innocence, chief's son eloping with young Lillian and still morns beautiful Elena’s death. Did God really have a soft spot for our family? Did he only give us opportunities of misery and despair? Was the other camp only fulfilling a mission? A mission of tearing us apart and disintegrating our camp? Was it all the other camp could do? And did it mean crossing the other camp you kissed off despair and misery? Why was God more kind to other camp if at all he is a God of equal opportunity? Why was he ever there for them but ever willing to condemn us?

            Indeed he is a God of equal opportunity. Only the magnitude that matters…while others has been bundles of joy, us were all but torrents of tears.

      I have come to learn that opportunities knock in two sets. Over time, nature has taught me; my spoon would always be upside down. Its mother, who hypnotized me with scramble. The hard way of earning has been my motto. The leaning of understanding parallel to my softness, a joyful moment sandwiched with luck. Nature has bred a self centered me.

           Accolades and foes has christened me names, routine has riveted my heart and iron, I have learned to embrace every positive opportunity…if at all t compensate what has consumed me over years.

Pillow-in my assumption- was a bad luck to my life. I’ve learned to tolerate her and her fools, but junior?

            Junior, our only son, had entered to the world at the right time. I had missed him for long before our first fool was born. For I needed another "prisoner" to walk with .

            After her sixth “prison”, my fear was being split apart among the seven prisons. Junior was a transitional element and the animal in me was never to be in junior.

            Another thing am sure of, Pillow is also fond of junior. Junior doesn’t seem to comprehend this but creates, if only a mere link between us.

          I’ve never for once regretted ruining Jane’s life, neither have I mourned Julie’s abortion and subsequent impotence. Nor Ruth’s dropping out of school

          Infact I counted myself extravagantly fair. No one died in my arms like my sister Elena; I raped no one like the shopkeeper did. Infact I paid handsomely and beautiful for everything. Didn’t Jane build a house for her family, didn’t Ruth pay dowry for her poor boyfriend? Didn’t Julie start a now flourishing business?

        Thinking of langa’ta, the varsity girl, I don’t see us together for so long. Even I doubt whether we will come back in the same plane once the Seychelles retreat is over.

         However I must admit she has been the hardest ever. For once I thought she was never to crack. I couldn’t remember spending the much I spend on her to any other woman let alone Pillow. But I don’t regret it. I have only grabbed an opportunity that willingly presented itself. A chance to enjoy the "Varsity girls". After all I never got any education. Neither did the only three women dear to me.

        Whatever names they call me I don’t care. I am even entertaining being salt daddy, the Broom or any other they would deem suitable for me. All that matters now is an opportunity to squeeze the hibiscus flower. Opportunity to crash my canines, soothing between them

 Yours Romantic-Energetic-Ever loving
Sugar daddy
Kisima wa juzi

Sugar Daddy’s Dairy: Letter to my “Daughter”.(L1)

Sugar Daddy’s Dairy Letter to my Daughter.

By  

Manyuira(wilsonmanyuira@yahoo.com)

            I know that by the time this letter reaches you, someone would have already committed a "fallacy" on you. Though  am partly to blame, I can’t help cursing that foolish, ugly, hunger ravened boy masquerading as man on top of my only "daughter". Did I here that you have been seen with him again?...
      I am sure you will not accuse me of not expressing my sagging love to you in this love thesis. I have taken the necessary precautions for the sake of our safety and for the “rose” flower we are building. Using the name daughter was not a mistake but rather a safety measure considering the way “pillow” has been insisting on emptying my contents something that has always been done by junior. Being a scholar there in KU I believe it won’t be hard for you to “see” darling,sweetie,babie,dear….. on the Jargon daughter.

            I must apologize that my greetings a rather arriving late daughter. With all the harassment from your exams-that you told me on the other day- I have no choice but to admit it is unkind for me , considering the “empty pockets” have not been letting you embarrass them by hugging them in front of their girlfriends, though to my joy.

            Your letter aroused a lot of emotions that I almost cried with love daughter. As “pillow” snored, I couldn’t help but re-read the letter again and again. For the first time I felt proud of you daughter. Your magazine cuttings reminded me of last holiday in naivasha and your perfume smelled Singapore.

Did you receive the parcel ? of course I know you liked the imported wig, the perfume and all the other assorted gifts dear. My friend was surprised that I imported them from Italy.

            Of late the office has been boring with those skinny secretaries who vomits only Africanized English. The “womanish” feel that oozed when you were around is now a foretold dream. The congress speaker send me an email saying that he misses you. The gateman asked me of you’re whereabouts and I overheard the Tea girls-generously but with jealous- praising your beauty. Uncle Charlie was telling me of the hugs you used to give him while you were an intern at their place The bank manager from Lagos angered me when he said I was incomplete without you and that he had admired you for long. Anyway to make the long story short the people surrounding me are daily asking about you and I am surely missing you.

            I hear Iron Lady has initiated  a project of beautifying the Main Campus and that men have formed a group to fight for the rights of university male students. Is it true that even daughter’s of that land have initiated a project against men moral uprightness? These are bad news to me but when I join the senate everything will change. I can’t wait to see KU being a girls only university and prevent  “empty pockets” from touching even the slit of your dress.

            Meanwhile I am preparing for our vacation soon after you close for the long holiday. Prepare for the most modern romantic approach on you daughter and be sure I will not disappoint you.

            I have deposited Ksh. 8000 in your account for use during examination and preparation for our trip. If possible send me your details for processing of the visa. I am doing my best to secure a presidential suite in one of the best motels in Seychelles.

     

            I can’t wait to stroke your hair and fiddle you as you caress my rich tummy and my white beards.

            I wish you well in your exam reminding you not to compromise by accepting advances from that “empty pocket” named lecturer. If anything don’t worry of your marks as your future is already determined whether you pass or not.

            Prepare physiologically, philosophically, physcologically and physically. The Clip I sent you I believe will be of great help to you towards our holiday in Seychelles.

Yours Romantic-Energetic-Ever loving

 Sugar daddy

Kisima wa juzi

Student journalism club elect new management

By 

Manyuira (wilsonmanyuira@yahoo.com) 

Kenyatta University Student Journalism Club(KUSJC) held its election on 16-3-2011 amid fears of postponement due to logistical problems.The new management board executive committee comprises of Ms Zipporah Muli- Chairperson, Mr. John Muiruri- Vice Chair, Ms. Murugi- secretary General, Mr. Kairu- Ombudsman(legal officer), Mr. Manyuira- Chief editor, Mr. Obondo- Treasurer and Mr. Nyakango as the organizing secretary. The executive board shall appoint a management team of 7 members later on.

The office of the chairperson previously held by MR. James Chege was declared vacant two weeks after expiry of his term. Other post that were declared vacant include that of vice chairperson previously held by Romeo Castro(A.K.A), treasurer(Jamal Dakano), chief editor(Ovin Nyakango), Organizing Secretary(Patience Kangethe) , secretary general(Ms. Zipporah Muli) and that of Ombudsman, previously held by Mr. Patrick Kariuki.

The constitution of KUSJC was strictly adhered to in vetting those interested in the posts but all members agreed unanimously of the need to observe lenience as a last resort after it emerged that not all interested members had sent nomination letters. Ms Dorcas Kinyua who is also the outgoing gender and social welfare secretary of KUSA echoed the same sentiments, urging members on the importance of the constitution.

All said and done, the members finally cast their ballots with 2 aspirants battling for the post of secretary general. On the other hand 3 aspirants battled for the post of chief editor while the other posts had no sufficient candidates to warranty casting of ballots. On the post of Sec Gen ,Ms Murugi walked away with 89% of the votes while Mr. Kiptanui managed 11 % of the total votes. On the post of chief editor Mr. Nyalenda-21%, Mr. Manyuira- 53% and Ms. Sasha 26%.

Speaking after she was declared the winner, Ms  Murigi promised to engage every member in all her activities while the new chief editor promised to lead the club to a diversified journalism world. The other leaders were elected Unopposed but it was not clear whether they will serve on acting capacity.